Saturday, September 21, 2013

hanging half moons of expectations.

this thought came to me a little while
ago while having a conversation about
expectations this week...

maybe to some level, placing over-sized
expectations on people is akin to trying
to hang an unfinished moon in the sky.
it looks lovely, but there is no love for
the origins of it, and there's a bit of
restlessness and impatience wanting it to
be better. we do that to each other all
the time in one form or another. and it
causes a lot of pain. more than we need
to add on in the first place.

think about it. how many times have you
wanted someone to be a storybook romance,
or to remain an easygoing, cool person?
how many times have you done or said
something to that person because they
weren't being who you wanted them to be?
and doing this in spite of the fact that
people are who they are and change how
their life needs them to, not because of
your narcissistic whims? yeah. we have
all been there. and that in essence lies
at the heart of a lot of the sickness in
society. we act and think a certain way,
and while we have come to the conclusion
that people know better, they don't act
or demonstrate that they do. and while we
should accept that, more often than not
we don't. and that non-acceptance causes
a lot of issues.

lately i have come to one or two people
in my life and atoned for placing heavy
expectations on them. i did that to them
because i let myself lose sight of the
balance needed to view the best of people
without having myself do things and interact
with the expectation of reciprocity to
match or exceed my own interaction. it
takes a good deal to remember that balance.
you can get thrown off by the demons of
ego, lust, greed and others. that balance
being thrown off isn't because your intent
is dishonest or evil all the time. it's
because intent gets tossed aside like a
bit of dirty tissues because the demons
i just mentioned make you get too caught
up in yourself and what you want, at the
expense of that other person or other people.
so when i made my apologies, it was me
being aware that my behavior had changed
towards them and could have made them feel
a way about me that wasn't my intention.
we can't forget that people respond to
whatever we give them. and these responses
may differ but the genuine ones always can
be discerned.

we have to let people be, and we have to
let ourselves be grown enough to accept that.
it's silly to want people to be your everything
all at once when YOU may not even be your
own everything or are moving towards it.
doing that puts them in a prison. a prison
of artificial love and understanding, just
like putting aspartarme in coffee and calling
it sugar. what you don't realize is, you're
in that prison too. a warder is as much a
captive as the prisoner is, sometimes more
so. you don't get to enjoy the greatness
of people that way. and those actions of
heavy expectations are nothing more than a
mirror to your own being. so, i'll ask you
this: don't you have an appreciation for the
moon in all of its phases? don't you have a
great love for who you are and what you've
gone through to be at this point in your
life? if the answer to both questions is
yes, then release yourself from the burden
of placing such heavy burdens on others.
life is much lighter that way.

as always, thanks for reading...and walk

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