Sunday, August 26, 2012

projectile letters



i find words
that have endured the matrimony
of iodine and open wounds
left to simmer like
pies for Sunday dinner on windowsills
taste better to those folks
who make a fetish
out of misery
feast on it
like whirring screens
in a peep show booth
no one knows you're in
except your past lives
these words
become crumpled bills
currency to what they think true artists
should be
ignoring the possibility
that perhaps said artist
had to hurl these words
from their abdomen
rather than their heart
even heaving
has a purpose

Saturday, August 25, 2012

haiku 8.25.12


*for sagal*

your legs still take walks
in my mind as night falls, your
steps still give tingles




a phone, morning dew and you



it is like mid-morning
on a quiet street
when we speak
feeling the heft
of hearts hanging in our voices
minutes become molasses
and our laughs
rush through like speeding cars
on their way to
anywhere but loneliness
the pauses
letting the promise
of your arms being home
gleam like the pavement
still in love with the last drops
of morning dew


Friday, August 24, 2012

invisible vampires and the rest of us.




'VAMPIRES DON'T COME OUT AND BITE YOUR NECK ANY MORE. INSTEAD
THEY CAUSE SOMETHING DESTRUCTIVE TO HAPPEN. BLOOD WILL
SPILL AND THOSE INVISIBLE VAMPIRES WILL GET THEIR MEALS...'

- Peter Tosh



more and more, i begin to realize that there is an urge
being created in people's minds. it's the urge to feed
on people, to drain them of all that's good. ever hear
someone you know tell you about a work situation, or a
fight with a lover, or a quarrel with a family member?
isn't 'draining' a common word that links all of these
situations? and then you see part of the problem right
there in front of you.

the invisible vampires.

see, Peter Tosh was on the money in naming them. even
more so now, because society has always been overtaken
with its love of vampires. i mean, one of the most
popular TV shows out is 'True Blood', filled with all
sorts of vampires who carouse with blood and sex as
their main courses. young girls(and older women, let's
be real)got wrapped up in the 'Twilight' series over
the past few years. it's really nothing new; Dracula
has always remained a figure of constant examination
and lore, and Anne Rice wouldn't have been Anne Rice
without 'Interview With A Vampire'.

but when you really look at it...the symbolism is so
potent, and while it can be easily dismissed, it still
lies embedded in this society. the invisible vampires
are those who seek to steal. they're the agents of
chaos working to get over on all of us. i always felt
that the 'Twilight' series encouraged meekness and
submission, both emotional and sexual, from young women.
one of my fave TV shows, 'Community' dropped this line
in it's first season: 'You know what Twilight tells
us? Old men dig young flesh.' True, aint it? even
the series of Blade movies - okay, the first two more
than the epileptic joke of the last one - spoke to
humanity being at the mercy of vampires. cattle to be
bled out and fed on.

political and sociological tones aside, think about
some of the situations in your life. you may have
invisible vampires at your table and you don't even
know it. or you DO know it and think that they'll
leave once they've had their fill. no dice. they are
aware as you, in some moments more so. they're here
to feed on you because their internal misery desires
company, desires control to the point where they will
eliminate yours and bring you pain and confusion. they
can be very familiar. sometimes they can go away and
turn up again like one of those 'pre-approved loan'
letters from a random car dealership. sometimes they
don't even know they're working on behalf of more
ruthless agents of destruction. in any event, you
should realize they're out there. they're not gonna
look like a Bill, or an Edward. invisible vampires
take any form and use it for their gain. your spirit,
your essence being theirs. don't let 'em sit at the
table and get their meals.

until the next time...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

haiku 8.16.12



to avoid the net
we spin in circles biting
backs; a futile swim

beck and call.




i think sometimes, we suffer from the idea that in
order to facilitate and foster and even deepen the
bonds we have with some people, it's about bending
to their suggestions to the point where we break
our own rhythm. i have a friend of mine who kind
of playfully touches on this topic. whenever i miss
a phone call, she'll leave a message demanding to
know where i'm at and that i should be at 'beck
and call'. we get a good laugh out of it because
our friendship was never based on that. has no
traces of it. but others do.

you want to be there for people all the time. at
least, i want to. you want to share in their life
as they've shared in yours, because that's the
depth of connection you have. but in some cases,
you'll have a person in your life who takes it to
the edge a bit. they want to see you this time,
this date. quiet insistence that grates on you
like subway cars on old tracks. and in a way, they
don't realize that they are infringing on you.
it's when you gotta drag them back across that
line and say, in actions or words if need be,
'listen. i have things to do. if it's not a dire
situation, let me be.' you have to do that in
order for the bonds you have with people to be
stronger and not one-sided. i've been there a bit.
i have given more than my share at times. i do
realize that it is one of my flaws, giving too
much at a detriment to myself. i still struggle
with that balance. this is an aspect of it, one
that deals with time. a commodity we don't get
to replenish.

it's going to be tough, but for those who feel
you need to be at beck and call, tell them this:
'my last name isn't Benson. relax.'

until the next time...

Saturday, August 18, 2012

toni's haiku



lionheart essence
supple flesh to this apple
sweet with love's own light.

Friday, August 10, 2012

summer marmalade



on a humid day
they say you can spread desire
upon the hours
and on willing skin
just like marmalade
and judging by the way you sound
you have something
far sweeter
you wish to share

Thursday, August 9, 2012

pressed script


*for brownin*

i know
the script your heart writes in
sharp strokes give way
to curves that hang like sage and saffron
in an evening crosswind

i know
you worry
that i will pass it by
as if it sat on a subway stairwell
and i was too busy to catch a train

i know
the fears of letting fade
the writing of one who cares
on pages of time between them
i tie them all together carefully

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

haiku 8.8.12



yesterday's old tears
should not be today's wine; it
brings life hangovers

abrupt winters



bitter
can be the chill
of an abrupt winter
someone gives you
when they feel their summers
wither and curl up
in the throes of their own pain
they figure the ice
will eventually melt
like that in tumblers of whiskey
they drink to seal off the tears
patient
is this winter
that settles on the hearts
of those that love them
but tire of walking along ice
towards those
that give up their hopeful seasons
and don't wish to be saved

music break: Sly Dunbar




this past Monday marked the 50th anniversary of
Jamaica's independence, a nation i owe my own
heritage too. so i figured this cover by one
of the island's most acclaimed musicians, Sly
Dunbar of Sly & Robbie fame, would be a good
way to pay homage here. enjoy!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

slapboxing devils.



sometimes, you will find yourself slapboxing
with the devils within AND without as if you
inked a deal for 12 rounds and a gaudy belt.
hard, electrolyte draining, intense bouts of
faith and will that makes you appreciate those
champions of the ring even more because they
went through it before stepping onto the
canvas.

i get tired sometimes with these fights. it
gets weary struggling while the clueless, the
stumblebums, the burnouts and the ignorant
ease through life like a hot knife through a
fresh oven baked turkey breast. it gets to
be tiresome slinging fists with the internal
devils you have, especially at the times when
your spirit wanes, you feel your chest heave
as if to vomit, and your body literally aches.
over the past three years, i've dealt with
this over and over. it's as if God and my own
path are putting me through this training
for what's ahead. for example, i've been in
the process of trying to release an eBook for
the past 2 months to no avail. but when they
utter the phrase, 'the devil is in the details'
they don't tell you that shit is in fine print
and single-spaced.(look out for a post on that
on 108 Press' blog.)it has been a fight, one
that i had to learn to deal with with regards
to not only knockdowns, but how to recover
from them. to the point where if there's
another setback, i won't be deterred.

of course, there are more sinister opponents
we all have, with different names. but if you
got this far into the post, i want you to
keep punching. protect yourself at all times.
and most of all, give those devils the pain
they try to give you back three times over.
and make sure when you slap one of them, the
others hear the resolution in it and back
off, if only for a little while.

peace, until the next time...

Friday, August 3, 2012

sultry signal



she said
her phone was about to melt
because of the heat
it would have been third in line
after both of us

Thursday, August 2, 2012

haiku for gabby



lovely, Black and proud
by balance beam and tumbles
she conquers the world

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

half past forgetting


this is where time mimics acid
and burns memory at the edges
like batteries that burst
and crust over

half past forgetting
that desire once lived in your eyes
and beckoned my hands and lips
to be roommates

these are the moments
where you will watch me dry heave
craving your presence
and finding a fix in past thoughts of your curves

half past forgetting
where you let me into your heart
since you've let fear make a maze
and you sit waiting for a rescue
that you've lied about wanting to everyone

except me