Saturday, March 9, 2013

reclaiming expression(or, how i regained strength to cross-post.)

this past week, i was in an emotional dust-up with
myself. and it got settled the best way possible.
more on that later. i was feeling that way because,
i hit a spot where i doubted the effect of my writing
voice. i re-post from time to time on Facebook and
Twitter from here. there's some responses, and i
know people read my work here. but i started to get
caught up on not seeing visible responses. and i
asked myself, 'am i reaching people?' because as
much as i dig that some people read and enjoy my
work, there is a trap that lies in sharing on social
media. there's a fine balance to it. a line that is
like that dividing line in the middle of any road you
drive down. i started to ask myself if i needed to
start tagging people on FB like others have done
just to get people to notice their stuff, and that
idea got tossed out the moment i thought of it.

i've realized a long time ago, that i am expressive.
that while i don't always i speak loud, i roar and
holler with my shit on the page. i slap the plaque
off of hearts and rub all of the grime from third
eyes with what i write. over and over and over again.
because, i write how i live. i used to be reserved,
to the point of being timid sometimes. and leaving
that behind has enriched my life and my craft so
much. and in the process, i realize that there is
appreciation, spoken and unspoken. and the unspoken
can be for a bunch of different reasons. i wondered
if i should stop sharing my writing aloud on Facebook.
i didn't pose that question out of hurt pride, or
feeling slighted. i truly wondered if it was a bit
much. the response i got, and the resulting discussion
i had was rejuvenating. and then, to top it off, a
dear friend of mine asked me to write a haiku for
her that she will then proceed to have tattooed on
her. to have your words affect somebody so much that
they would honor you that way...the only way to
truly depict how i felt is to think about how it feels
to raise your head out of cool ocean water sharply
while at the beach and feel the sun on your brow.

so yes, i'm expressive. my words are me, and vice
versa. and though i may have these moments again, i'm
letting my voice ring out. because there those that
listen, even in a whirlwind of memes, status updates
and other stuff. to those that do, i thank you truly
for showing me that love, even in silence.

until the next time, walk good.

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