Monday, February 13, 2012

lover's rock. (or, my thoughts on Valentine's Day)

"Wine comes in at the mouth; love comes in through the eye."
- Henri Matisse

yes, today is Valentine's Day. and i know that coming from
someone like me, one who writes love poems as a part of his
resume, you'd expect something ultra-sappy. Hallmark Channel
style. not entirely.

you see, i notice more and more the growing cynicism and for
some outright hatred of Valentines' Day. there's various reasons
why, from the petty(hating the day because a dude hasn't given
you a compliment on your nail polish is NOT an excuse) to the
more somber. i know one or two people that have had tragedy
strike on that day. so, you may ask, why am i still one of the
number of people that like or at the very least, don't mind
Valentine's Day? it's simple. it lies in my belief in what
love is.

i was like a lot of other folks, smitten with the idea of being
in love just like on TV and in the music videos. but it wasn't
easy feeling like that being an overweight and slightly shy
kid growing up in Southeast Queens during the early 1990's.
i knew girls, talked to girls. but for a few of them, i wasn't
fly. and it did hurt at times. especially as i got into high
school. for a time, i consoled myself by listening to tracks
like Intro's 'Let Me Be The One' and BoyzIIMen's whole first
album. slowly i got out of my shell, and found that not only
could i be attractive to a couple of girls, they could show
it with no shame. (more on that in the next post.) mind you,
it didn't mean that i wasn't immune to the heartaches of it
all. i'm still not immune now.

i've been lied to by a girlfriend. i've been used. been
talked about badly or not talked about at all. i've been a
substitute boyfriend, f**k buddy and a fall-back for a girl
who couldn't get attention from the one she wanted. i've had
my brief share of treating some women bad. i've seen love
fall apart, like it did with my parents. i still remember
the eerily quiet cold the night they split for good. i've
even lost sleep, fell out weeping and helpless. i've had to
counsel others with their heartbreak. but all that aint really
love. love does involve some pain and aches...whenever you
and someone else are together, you're giving birth to a new
world. pain accompanies any childbirth.

my thoughts on love are that this world is full of it, if
you take the time to see it and acknowledge it..and share
it. love brings you closest to your own truth, it brings
you closer to all truths. if you're lucky, you even get to
allow love to help you heal and forgive others - and yourself.
which brings me to the original point of this post. yes, i
wish women a Happy Valentine's Day. i send cards. i get my
mom something. because as much as i hear the phrase, 'oh
Valentine's Day should be EVERY day and not some gimmick
for one day', some of these mofos out here are selling wolf
tickets as far as that goes. they can barely keep in contact
with people who are dearest to them and this is supposed to
be the age of social media. and then there are those who
are mad that no one considers them at all on this day so
they direct that anger at others. i'm not a fan of the overt
commercialism of the day myself. but that's never defined
me anyway. and it shouldn't do so for many of us. if you
choose to partake in it.

one last thing...i also see Valentine's Day as a chance to
watch the children and see and enjoy how they encounter the
first flames of love. and i also have been known to wish
elder sisters a Valentine's Day as well. why not, they paved
the way for us to know. if you love the right way, and well
enough and with all of your spirit, one day can never hold
you down.

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