Wednesday, January 11, 2012
emotional three-card monte.
ever get the feeling you're being set up?
as if to release their energies, someone or some others will
put you in places similar to where they were at that moment,
take you there against your will at times AND THEN look at you
crazy when you try to figure out what's going on and/or empathize.
we do that to each other more than we realize. sometimes we do it
to loved ones. it's an emotional habit i've noticed more and more
over the past few years around me. and it's proven to be a form of
combat almost to lessen its prevalence in my life.
it's like seeing those hustlers out on the streets with their
games of three card monte. there's three elements to that. the
dealer, who makes deft flips, twists and turns of the cards. there's
the shill, someone who's pretending to make money off the game and
will pretend the cops are coming when it's time to end the hustle.
and then there's the mark. three card monte is only a success when
all three elements are involved, playing their roles. only the mark is
expected to be a sucker.
being asked to stifle your emotions, being told 'you're getting too
excited' or 'you're being dramatic' in reaction to troubling news is
not only unrealistic but it's akin to being cruel depending on the
situation. we are human beings mainly because we feel, and we have
a right to those feelings and a right to express them. as a Black man,
i'm cognizant of such emotional trickery being put across to me both
consciously and sub-concsiously. sad but true. i've been through it in
the workplace, and in other venues where i'm in the minority. and i've
learned at a cost to me, how important it is to call it out, and check
the person or people who perpetrate it.
another example deals with loved ones. i've had to go through that
from time to time with those close to me. i've found that to
an extent, i get placed in a 'damned if you do, damned if you don't'
category. being a writer in these moments sometimes gets you that
'sensitive' tag. i admit i have a sensitive side. but that's not
license to use it as an excuse for casual emotional manipulation.
i don't stand for that. and neither should anyone else.
so if you find yourself dealing with that, don't even get hustled.
'cause i've NEVER seen anyone win at three card monte. and you don't
win in situations like that unless you and your spirit make it clear you
won't stand for it.