Wednesday, March 30, 2011

delctable silence

already kissed
one hundred times
within the cloud covered folds of my mind
i've dreamt
that your lips
as seconds bind them to mine
became cotton candy
just as it melts
it pleases me
that the coolness of your cheeks
are cinnamon and milk
that eases the tongue
we've already kissed
in our minds
and found no reason to run
the delectable silence
after our first real kiss
is done?


another of life's circles.

these past few days, i’ve been helping my mother recover from
internal surgery. she was given strict orders to rest up in bed,
and so i made the decision to be of as much help as i can be.
which meant doing a good deal of cooking when possible,
cleaning and heading up and down the stairs to get water and
snacks for her.

i went back to how she used to care for me when i was little.
i used to cry, ‘mommy’ and she’d be there so fast i used to
believe she had teleportation powers. and i never forgot those
days - you shouldn’t ever forget those days, in my honest
opinion - so much so that they’ve been coming back to me
clear as day since last Friday. i’ve lost some sleep, sure. i feel
my legs ache from going back and forth up the stairs(who needs
yoga?!)but i still feel real good. i’m glad that i’m able to be there
for her. she’s done so much for me, even at points where i might
not have deserved it. because she’s a giver. and she’s taught me
how to give with your all because it’s right and for no other reason.

case in point? this morning, she asked for eggs but kind of
recanted. ‘you’ve been doing too much and i know you haven’t
slept much,’ she said. i went down, got the paper from outside,
made some green tea with lemon, wheat toast and scrambled
eggs. when i brought it up to her, her eyes lit up. ‘thank you
Chris! you didn’t have to!’

because you took care of me Mom…of course i have to do the
same. it’s another one of life’s circles we have to obey on this
Earth if we want our existence to mean anything.

Monday, March 28, 2011

subtle emeralds

one can only ask
as they lock eyes with your own
if you have summer in your heart
or if you've ever made emeralds angry
because your stare
posesses more shine than they do.


Saturday, March 26, 2011

precious stones in the dark

don't know where it was
that you stole away
wtih silvers of my heart
i suppose
you keep them with
silver and wood earrings
letting them glisten
along with other precious stones
in the dark
of your jewelry box
i'd like to think
that because of the gentle caress
of your hands
they burn with promise
waiting to greet you
with renewed desire and light
just as i do.


Thursday, March 24, 2011

untitled 3.24.11

i keep thinking
about all the air
that lies between us
getting lighter with each thought of you
every mile
disappearing with the same
crystallized sweetness i found
in your cheek with my lips
as long
as i keep thinking
and dreaming of you
flying into your heart
will seem that much easier.

kicking against drowning

it's terror
that grabs the base of your skull
making your eyes
grow wider
thoughts race with the speed
you once had just to be born
all begging you to
as it all crashes in around you
so it all piles on
waiting only for you to..


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

two sunsets(for louisa)

her eyes
a magnificent sunset twofold
upon her face
and each length of time
i take to stare deeply into them
allows me to view
the onset of many pleasurable nights
cradled within her arms
like cool welcoming space
around a silent planet.


quote of the day 3.22.11

"Like I told my last wife, I said "Honey, I never drive
faster than I can see. Besides, it's all in the reflexes."

- Big Trouble in Little China

Monday, March 21, 2011

haiku 3.23.07

last night i dreamt that
your lips swallowed me whole; the
sweetest release ever.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

haiku 3.20.11

with your voice in my
ear, blankets are better left
to keep comets warm.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

spring is here again!!!

i don't know about anyone else, but my spirits get
lifted anytime the weather starts to improve, the
temperatures get warmer and the sun stands out more.
it's kind of a rebirth in some ways. i hope that
you're going to get the chance to get out and enjoy
some of this lovely weather 'cause i certainly will!!

Friday, March 18, 2011

black men don't leave

they say
black men don't leave
that they never run
but this morning this teary-eyed son
adds his own rain to clouds above
if we haven't been chasing dragons
we've been chasing paper
chasing tumblers of johnnie walker
and any woman with pretty eyes
and a warm bed
as i write
my head feels like the skins
elvin jones used to slap
tired but not enough for that dirt nap
because i have to be the man
to replace those
that left for greener fields
and found gravel and shit
and all the misery abandonment yields
black men don't leave
but their vacations are long
they've been emblazoned on the page
encrypted in song
and i may have thought of running
but i always chose to stand
maybe that's why my eyes
resemble a shell-shocked wasteland
this is one black man
who wont leave
who wont run
and as my screams die within my blood
and my fears wither under the sun
here i stand
determined to do what
other fathers, brothers and sons
haven't done.


Thursday, March 17, 2011

seconds spent with you

i am content
to release these words
from cages held together
by rust and reluctance
let them run wild within the sun
so that they can pull away
those curtains of mistrust
others have hung before your eyes
i carry nothing but a sword
of hot blood, ink and iron
it writes
when yearning makes me mute
and composes songs
that speak of seconds spent with you
in serenity.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

20 dollars at a time.

the corridor over by the Jamaica LIRR station has its
surprises. on this night in particular, one of them
would surprise and sadden me a bit.

i had gotten off the subway at Sutphin Boulevard. it
was a fairly cool night in late March, the kind that
gives you hints of what summer could be like. i was
making my way to the bus i needed to get home, over
by King Park and 153rd Street. i walked along Jamaica
Avenue, watching stores close here and there. i was
on the phone with a friend of mine, making my way past
the Colombian restaurant which was packed as usual. at
that moment, a woman stepped out of the semi-darkened
doorway next to it. she smiled, and i returned the
favor. she began to speak and i lowered my phone so
i could hear her. 'yes?' i asked.

she reeked of Tecate Light, which clung to her like
the long-sleeved red blouse she had on with a pair
of blue denim jeans. 'hola, como ta?'
'ta bien, y tu?'i replied.
'good. what you doing now, you busy?' she replied
with a slow grin that might have charmed some dude
out of a mink stole a decade ago. now, her makeup
hid years of tears, beers and fears of time running
out. 'i'm going somewheres, why?' i had slowed my pace
a bit but never stopped. 'maybe we could have fun.
only $20, papi chulo.' she leaned towards me and i
could smell the mixture of beer and knockoff perfume.
'no mami, i can't. got things to do.' i said, eyes
on the watch for the boys in blue. 'aw c'mon, i live
right here!' she pleaded as i walked away. seeing
that there was no hope, she turned her attention to
a dude stumbling out of the El Salvadorean bar.

i stopped to look at her under the streetlight. who
knows how long she was out there, 20 dollars at a
time. she might have been behind on the rent. or
looking for extra cash. the Ave had seen its fair
share of pros hawking their skills in the dusky
blocks after 9 PM. most relocated over by the tracks.
i couldn't help but think that under the lights, she
might have been beautiful to someone once. i never
saw her again after that. every now and again as i
head down Jamaica Avenue at that time, i wonder who
else was giving themselves away to make ends meet
out there. shadows never cover anything fully.

an ochre butterfly

here and there
my heart flies away
so all that's left
is a hollow socket
full of dried molasses and
century old stardust
its gone to find another
glimpse of you among the stars
and i will keep this space empty
when it returns
upon the back of an ochre butterfly.


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

haiku 3.15.11

if i licked you right
there, maybe my mouth would be
a sea of Bailey's.

back from the Riviera Maya...

so i was in Cancun for the past week thanks to my sisters
and third time there as a matter of fact. i
got a chance to really, REAALLY unwind and let my mind
float. and in that short span of time, i came to grips
with certain things about myself and my writing and life
in general.

1)i need to push the envelope MORE.

as it is, i think i have a distinct writing voice.
but i also need to guard myself against playing it
safe. i glossed over a couple of older short stories
and immediately shrank back. since i've gotten back,
i've begun the process of re-writing these stories so
that they'll always remain fresh. and i've resolved
to get more innovative with story ideas. there's no
excuse not to, all the cynicism about 'no idea's
original' be damned.

2)this year, i need to be all about a set writing

can't stress this enough, especially after catching
up on Malcolm Gladwell.

3)get back to doing open mics when i can.

i miss the energy, the wild abandon of the open
mic. i miss the crowd reaction, silent and boisterous.
doing that showcase in DC really brought me back
and i want to get that feeling again.

4)don't be so hard on yourself.

i have a tendency to overthink when it comes to my
writing. i compare myself to others at times, and
i fret about my work here and there. i need to do
less of that and realize that there's a fine line
between being diligent and being deprecating.

5)completely express myself.

well...i think i'm doing okay so far there. always
room for improvement.

until the next time...

Monday, March 14, 2011

quote of the day 3.14.

“We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself
the means of inspiration and survival.”

- Winston Churchill

please take a few moments to think about and
pray for those in Japan today.

untitled piece

(found this in one of my date on it either.
odd. anyway, hope you enjoy!!)

you cut across the sky
like an april sunset clothed in
and your own glory
if only all my days
were as beautiful as you.

blast from the past!!!

another blast from the past for you...this was taken in
February 2004 if i'm not mistaken. it was a warm, intimate
affair i was happy to be a part of, a craft market featuring
a couple of my friends in Brooklyn. i miss those days. what
am i reading from, you may ask? it was my own chapbook, one
of two i created way back when. i may be posting some works
from them soon so be on the lookout!!

Friday, March 4, 2011

haiku 3.4.11

henna dots your skin
and you have drawn upon my
soul;sweet art binds us.

reflections before a holiday...

hey folks, i wanted to divert from the usual flow
of this blog for a moment just to reflect on a few
things with you 'fore i go on a break.

first, i know it's Friday and no one wants to get
too deep before the weekend. but i want to speak
on the power of realizing your dreams, no matter
when you get that chance in life. i recently saw
a good friend perform live on guitar with a band
of other women after only 2 1/2 days of learning
their instruments, writing an original song and
practicing beforehand. seeing that happen for
anyone is major, but especially for women. (btw,
the entire experience is known as Ladies' Rock
Camp, held in different cities across the US)
another moment that i was happy to be a part of
was a radio show commemorating the 10 year
anniversary of Melantaion, a wonderful writer's
group for people of color. both of these events
have given me so much energy and hope for my
own writing and other creative efforts. never
underestimate what things and events like that
can do for your psyche.

second, if you haven't done so today, give thanks
for everything wonderful about yourself, even if
you doubt most of the time. you'd be amazed to
see how much goodness will flow into your life as
a result.

i'll be back in a few days...until then, take
good care!!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

secret orange glow

that night
you gave me the secret of your glow
just as snowflakes fell
and the moon met its shadow
it consisted of tender pomegranate
slow cooked butterscotch
and joplin blues
a moment when wind stopped
at the corner of your lips; i found that
my spirit couldn't refuse.

untitled 3.2.11

some ask,
'how can you
desire water that you've never drank?'
it's because if
the dew of her lips alone
can cure the thirst
of a dozen deserts,
what would that ocean of her soul do
if one drank it with joy?

quote of the day 3.2.11

“And you would accept the seasons of your heart just
as you have always accepted that seasons pass over
your fields and you would watch with serenity through
the winters of your grief.”
- Kahlil Gibran

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

for bix

you said
"revolution is all about love"
and it carried further than bullets
but as we keep being
uninvited colonialists
internet predators
callous agents
nymphos with false libidos
i wonder
when will everyone else
have that brilliance
of your mind?


pretty words, beautiful deeds

i know that
pretty words
don't always comfort you
when your bank statements arrive
hearing me
tell you 'you're beautiful'
doesn't erase those cold stares
of co-workers killing their dreams by routine
saying you wear the perfume
of crushed vanilla bean and tulips
doesn't do the dishes
but my wish is that you see
that my pretty words
are only seeds
that my heart's growth towards you
plants and nurtures within you
just to show
i can sweep floors, rub your feet
fix stovetops and furniture
and help with grocery needs
pretty words celebrate all that's wonderful about you
the beautiful deeds i want to do for you
are to make sure none of that will ever change.

blast from the past...

this photo is from a golden time in my life,
back when i was co-founder and host of the
Karma Open Mic Series, a showcase of poetry,
music and comedy that ran for a little over
four years. in that time, i grew as an artist
and as a man especially. maybe one of these
days i'll do a retrospective post on Karma
for you. give me a shout if you'd like that
to happen.