cowardice of circumstance (a thought)

i want to begin by saying first off, i'm not intending this
to be a shot across anyone's bow or a way to dig in on people.
it's me being open and honest about my own feelings and how
i think others should be inclined to operate. disclaimer out
of the way, moving along...

over the past week, i've been thinking a lot about how i
view myself and my work at this point in my life. i've had
my ups and downs over the past couple of years while both
freelancing, trying to find work and to make my writing
work. it's been slow and painful, but rewarding for a couple
of reasons. it's also been illuminating because i've had
the chance to fully understand how being in a certain
circumstance can change your thinking and approach to others,
even those around you that you think you know. there's
some people who tend to emphasize positivity in speech..but
fall short in action. some on purpose, others unintentionally.
and their reason for doing it stems from a perception that
if you're not doing something similar to what they're doing,
or if you're making moves discreetly or if you're struggling
and honest about it, they can see it as a failure. it's an
insulting position to take up. one, we can never truly know
another person's struggles unless we take the time to find
out with sincerity and care. and then we have to be trusted
to understand that struggle. that's the heart of empathy. it
isn't anything you can go to a Barnes & Noble aisle and just
pick up in the time it takes to drink a latte. and sometimes
we have to check ourselves if we're not extending that to
others.

i've had people place me in a category because i'm actively
trying to balance my desire to make my writing popular and
successful with work. in some cases, it lies in statements.
'oh, you don't have a real job...' 'you're so artsy, but
how will you subsist?' even those close to you can have their
airs about what you're doing or not doing. this here is what
i call 'cowardice of circumstance.' i say that because to a
degree, what they're doing is dumping on your dreams, throwing
shade to your forward progress no matter how it is being enacted.
and we hide it behind catchphrases. 'oh, i'm keeping it real.'
no, you're keeping it stupid and petty. keeping it real means
keeping it consistent. those who aren't consistent with their
love for you and what you do in all forms need to agitate the
gravel so you can move how you need to. and you have to make
sure you don't do the same to others. be mindful, be supportive
and if you need to be, be tough. but always be honest and
consistent. you shouldn't look down on others, or yourself
for that matter. don't let you being better off make you become
a worse person.

until the next time...