Saturday, October 13, 2012
as i add another year...
another year older, another year better.
this Sunday is my birthday. (insert cheers and noisemaker
sound effects here) for the past couple of years, it's taken
on more meaning. there's always an outstanding lesson i move
forward into the new year with. and this year, that lesson is
summed up in three words: 'triumph over transition'.
when you think about it, life is full of transition. you don't
realize it on your day to day movements, but it's there. time
moves on, with or without you. and it's about how you choose
to walk with it. i spent some time in the past couple of years
being down. i had my share of feeling abandoned, not feeling
worth anything. depression. i know that my circumstances were,
and are different. i began to really look at them. and i found
i had a lot more to be grateful for than to be sad about.
even in these past couple of years, i've done a lot. had a lot
of laughs, great experiences. i've allowed myself to ask myself
tough questions, and sit with the answers. i've let people go
'cause i needed to. i've gotten a gang of grey hairs. shed a
few necessary tears. gotten to know good people. reconnected
with old friends. went to war on fear. turned poetry into bread,
and sorrow into scotch and jazz. living. and for a brother in
these United States, that is hard to do and still flash a
smile and laugh in the face of all those who'd sweep you away
with the crumbs. in short, the triumph is that i've been broken
down but i haven't been truly broken. and it's thanks to the
insistent and consistent love of family and friends, my faith
and will that this is the truth i walk with.
triumph over transition. that's the wisdom for this time. and
i can only hope and work towards etching that truth into my
spirit, no matter what happens. i think i'm well on my way.
thank you for reading this, and i hope that you'll be able to
make that a reality for yourself too, if you haven't already.
until the next time...
Friday, October 12, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
autumn brown and bright
casual turns in the sun
recalls the way your hair
was autumn brown and bright
as it nestled into the inlet
my shoulder created to let you rest
caramel and strawberries
the garden of contentment
your lips created
with words only the burning of secret hearts
could command
leaves will fall soon enough
bearing those notes born of laughter
stares that coat walls with sugar
and promises that within each other
our spirits will meet
to take more turns in the sun
and be better for it
written 9.16.12
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
false shepherds and shellfish.
as time goes on, i've taken notice of two things that i find myself
increasingly allergic to. the first thing is something i've known
since i was eight years old, and that's an allergy to shellfish. no
shrimp, no lobster, no crabs, mussels or oysters. otherwise my throat
begins to swell up. luckily it's never been a serious enough issue
to where i needed to hit an emergency room, and my sensitivity is
at the point where if someone cooks it i don't seize up because of
the aroma. the other thing? people who perpetrate the fallacy of
believing themselves to be a supreme messenger. false shepherds in
search of a flock that will allow the wool to cover up their sight.
of course, this last bit has become more relevant to me. i was raised
in a Christian family, went to Catholic school from the 4th grade
until my junior year of high school. today, i consider myself very
spiritual, and i affirm my faith daily. i feel as if i've been blessed
to learn about and get to know the faith i was raised in, as well as
other faiths i've come in contact with. i'm at the point where it's
past religion for me, at least in the sense where one faith dominates
all. and i can see and value those people from different backgrounds
more clearly. and spot those charlatans who use faith and religion
for divisive and sinister purposes. you know the ones. pastors who
preach hate from the pulpit. the embezzlers. the deacons and those
reverends who abuse children. the imams who promote bloodshed.
clerics who feel it is right to make little girls into wives and
objects. the rabbis who denigrate women and cast stones at their
neighbors. and many more. one of the biggest hustles you can ever
pull is aided by the use of religion. and it all begins with the
person who realizes it and in turn, whittles their humanity away
like one does cheese on a grater. those people make believing a
hard thing to do. and of course, there are the atheists, who do
not believe in gods. i find some of them fall into this false
shepherd category too. mainly because to me, this group seems
more hellbent on flat-out derision to the point of spite. there
is no room for debate. in detailing what they feel is wrong with
religion, they come off sometimes as people who sound like they
were owed something and didn't get it. and in turn, sound exactly
like those religious zealots they hold up as bad examples. you
even have the doomsday prophets who come off like Biff in 'Back
To The Future' with the sports almanac.
i am writing in specifics here because i strive not to fall into
the trap of generalization. and the point is not to throw slop
on those who believe and those who don't. i'm talking about the
people who use either platform to make themselves bigger than
they are, to lead others around the nose not because they give
a shit about these people, but because it gives them a sense of
power. it strokes their ego like a client with an exotic dancer
in the champagne room. they can't see that they look stupid
because of their immediate return on their ego hustle. it draws
in the well meaning, the gullible and the indifferent. i see
strands of this on my daily jaunts through social media. funny
how technology brings certain things out of some people. there
have been more online altercations due to some perpetrating the
fraud that they know all. they're true messengers. look at
their posts and messages. note the air of supposed superiority.
all the while, they ignore the fact that it actually highlights
their weaknesses and doesn't help them get better in any way.
one of a hustler's best tools is confidence. confidence that
is designed to be so outstanding upfront. but in truth it's
like a store with a full window but no items on the shelf. i
have little tolerance for false shepherds. they take up time
and energy. which is why these days, i'm content to let them
stray out into the fields and deserts and suffer. no one needs
their wool to be taken from them in that way.
until the next time...
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
fat cap linguistics
i follow the script
made with young hands
that don't comprehend
their surgery to save a dying tongue
as their find their own
underneath fire escapes slick with rain
amidst brick faces pointed with indifference
that seem to to deem them far worse hooligans
than those splayed on tabloid covers
my eyes
connect the art of this language
interpreted in art markers
and the burning wish
to be immortal
their bombs
may never mean more harm
than those dropped in the name of ideals
traded like blankets and trinkets
but they linger better
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)